Where have you gone, John Cena? What’s become of you Daniel Bryan? Does anybody know what actually happened to Randy Orton? What about the “Next Best Thing”, Seth Rollins? What fate befell Cesaro, Luke Harper, and Neville?
WrestleMania week is here and we are about to watch a show without the majority of the top and mid-level stars that we have come to love and hate over the past few years. The WWE roster is riddled with injuries from top to bottom headed into WrestleMania and many performers who would have likely been featured in top matches are not going to be on the card. And that is not counting C. M. Punk who abruptly quit two years ago and who fans still chant for to this day.
Still, the roster is loaded with talent, and WrestleMania always features a high-profile match or two with part-time talents that are a throwback to a previous era so there is potential that we could be treated to a very entertaining show. Unfortunately, there is the specter of the main event hanging over our heads. A match which will feature a legendary icon of professional wrestling versus an opponent who is not worthy of being the top star in the company. For a second year in a row, the WWE fans are furious that Roman Reigns was given the top babyface spot in the main event of a WrestleMania, and we are cringing at the thought that he could finally begin his long-term championship run that most of us have feared for the last two years.
While this situation has persisted for quite some time, the flames of our ire were fanned in the lead-in to WrestleMania pay-per-views and Raw episodes. First, at the Royal Rumble, the fans were exuberant when Reigns was eliminated from the rumble match, thus stripping him of his title. Triple H was serenated with cheers when he won the title himself. This, despite the fact, that Triple H was booked as the heel and Reigns booked as the babyface.
Any good feelings that were present at the end of the Royal Rumble were quickly squashed as Reigns was announced to be in a triple-threat match at FastLane against Brock Lesnar and Dean Ambrose for the #1 contender spot for the championship at WrestleMania. Suddenly, the whole main storyline for WrestleMania 32 became very predictable: Reigns would win the match at FastLane and go on to defeat Triple H for the title at ‘Mania.
Sure enough, the first part of that dire prediction came true when Reigns did indeed win his match at FastLane and will headline WrestleMania for the second year in a row. It is likely only a matter of time before the other shoe drops and he walks off with the title on Sunday.
WrestleMania is known as the most unique show of the year on the WWE schedule. It looks different and feels different than every other pay-per-view. As such, there is more to look forward to than just one main event match, typically there are several main event matches that fill out the card. There is potential for this show to be remembered for more than just a disappointing end to the main event.
From the outset, it doesn’t look like this WrestleMania is going to become an instant top-to-bottom classic like WrestleMania X-7. There aren’t too matches that are candidates for consideration as an all-time-great such as Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25, or Randy Savage vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at WrestleMania III. But hey, my WWE Network subscription is already paid for and I have a room full of people coming over to watch the show. I’ll keep an open mind and hope for the best.
We have a card loaded with the best (and healthy) talents on the roster today, and a Hell in a Cell match between The Undertaker and the returning Shane McMahon so there are pieces in place that could steal the show and give us something to look forward to. We also know that The Rock will be on the show and there are rumors that Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin will be there as well.
This is the first of my three-part series featuring my expert analysis and predictions for WrestleMania 32. Last year, my overall pick record wasn’t stellar, but I nailed the prediction that Triple H was going to beat Sting and I’m pretty proud of that. Thank you for reading so far, and let’s see how I do this year. Part 1 is going to feature the pre-show matches.
The Usos vs. The Dudley Boyz
A straight-forward tag team match is a safe way to get things started at WrestleMania. While a lot of matches on a ‘Mania card tend to be over-booked or over-crowded, this matchup will showcase two pure tag teams in a grudge match without any stipulations or championships on the line.
The Dudley Boyz returned to the WWE in August of 2015 after a lengthy hiatus of roughly a decade and were immediately put in the tag team championship picture. They were welcomed back as heroes by the fans and resumed their gimmick of a team that puts their opponents through tables. Most of us who remember them from their heyday in the Attitude Era recall they did their best work as heels who became one of the most decorated tag teams of all time.
At first, it appeared that they were going to be back for a nostalgia run and ride a wave of good feelings towards them. Finally, in Feburary of 2016, the Dudley Boyz did what they did best and turned heel when they attacked The Usos after a match on Raw. For the first time since their return, the Dudley Boyz started to act like their old selves.
The Usos had an up-and-down 2015 as Jey Uso suffered a serious shoulder injury and missed six months, thus derailing their momentum. The Usos returned in a lower spot on the card upon their return as their status as the #1 tag-team in the WWE was eclipsed by The New Day.
The lead-in to this match has somewhat been lost in the shuffle this WrestleMania season. We were given enough to see that there is bad blood between these two teams and it is clear who the good guys are and the bad guys are.
Stylistically, this match should look familiar to long-time WWE fans as The Usos have lifted most of the offensive move set from The Hardy Boyz, a long-time rival of the Dudleys. The high-flying and risk-taking style of the Hardys formed an odd complement to the bruising and brawling style of The Dudleys in their many encounters.
I would expect this match to feature a lot of high-risk high spots off the top rope from The Usos, and at least one combatant in this match getting put through a table. It probably won’t be given too much time to play out, so expect this to be fast-paced and quickly resolved.
Prediction: Winners, The Dudley Boyz
André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
For the third time, WrestleMania will feature a 20-man-over-the-top Battle Royal to determine the winner of the André the Giant Memorial Trophy. This match hasn’t been too kind to its participants in its first two iterations.
Cesaro won the first one at WrestleMania XXX with a memorable spot by lifting The Big Show and tossing him out of the ring. Following his victory, he immediately turned heel and failed to get over with the fans, even with Paul Heyman as his advocate. He lost all momentum from his victory, didn’t really do anything noteworthy over the following year and a half, and then broke his shoulder and is currently out of action.
Last year, the Battle Royal match was bumped down to the pre-show. The Big Show won the match, this time getting the upper hand from Cesaro and finally eliminating the crowd-favored Damien Mizdow. He posed with the trophy for the next few weeks on TV and then went back to flip-flopping between babyface and heel, and jobbing most of the time. Once again, the André trophy failed to give any lift to its winner.
This year, it looks like the WWE has completely given up on trying to make this a meaningful match. The participants announced for the match look like they are only there as a consolation prize to get them on a WrestleMania card for just being on the roster. Other than a few sentimental favorites such as The Big Show, Kane, Goldust, and Mark Henry, there is barely anybody left to root for in this match. With such bums as Konnor, Viktor, Darren Young, Fandango, and The Social Outcasts in the match, it’s hard to pick a clear-cut winner as practically nobody in this match appears to be going anywhere with his career at this point.
I have a theory that we are going to get swerved. The Wyatt Family has been mysteriously written off of TV lately. Usually when that happens, they make a surprise return at an unexpected moment to cause some sort of havoc. I think that one or more of them is going to enter the match and end up the surprise victor.
Prediction: Winner, Braun Strowman
The Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox and Eva Marie) vs. B.A.D. & Blonde (Naomi, Tamina, Lana, Emma and Summer Rae) in a 10-Diva tag team match
Just thinking about this match makes my stomach hurt. This has the potential to be the worst WrestleMania match since Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole at WrestleMania XXVII. On a scale from one to five stars, I’m going to go ahead and give it a zero right now.
Prediction: This match is going to suck so much that I can’t even think of a word to describe it.
Kalisto (c) vs. Ryback in a Singles match for the WWE United States Championship
This is one of the more unusual pairings on the card and has a potential to be a surprise hit match. Both participants are performing at a very high level in their own respect and will compete in a standard match with a title on the line.
Kalisto was a bit of a face in the crowd on the WWE roster for most of 2015. He was one half of the token Luchador style tag-team in the WWE, The Lucha Dragons along with Sin Cara. Despite not having much of a chance to display any kind of personality traits from behind a mask, he managed to distinguish himself at WWE TLC in December by performing his Salida Del Sol (a form of a standing sitout shiranui DDT) from the top of a ladder and through another. He was awarded with a Slammy, and went on to a feud with Alberto Del Rio, emerging with the United States Championship.
Ryback was on another aimless run, a one-dimensional babyface hero with a repetitive catch phrase and a hulking physique. It seemed like the crowd was tired of him until he masterfully executed a heel turn following WWE FastLane and shifted his gimmick to more of a monster heel. This turned the crowd sufficiently against him and he instantly began to draw heat on himself.
What we are left with is a perfect contrast in style, size, and attitude between the two combatants in this match. I would expect Ryback to display several feats of strength by tossing the smaller Kalisto around the ring like he is a paperweight. Of course, Kalisto is going to stick with his bread and butter by executing several fast-paced high spots, showcasing his speed and agility. If given enough time, this match could tell an interesting and entertaining story.
Prediction: Winner and new WWE United States Champion, Ryback
Later this week, part 2 will feature all of the mid-card matches.
The North Jersey Nonconformist 
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