WWE Elimination Chamber Analysis and Predictions

The Road to WrestleMania 34 (I still number them even if the WWE doesn’t) continues with the Raw-branded Elimination Chamber tonight in Las Vegas.  After Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and declared his intention to compete for the WWE Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania, it left open the question as to who will face Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship at the same event.  Of course, rumor has it that Roman Reigns was picked over a year ago to get the slot in the WrestleMania main event, yet again.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t hope that the rumors are incorrect and that anybody else wins the Elimination Chamber match!

This Pay Per View is a one-trick-pony, with the men’s Elimination Chamber being the only one that really matters for WrestleMania.  There are two women’s matches, one of which will be the first ever Women’s Elimination Chamber match.  Much like the dud that was the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble match in January, this match is going to suck.  In fact, it has the potential to be much worse given the confines of the chamber itself.

The one thing worth mentioning about the Women’s division is that Ronda Rousey will make an appearance at Elimination Chamber to sign her Raw contract.  Rousey was once the talk of the globe, having conquered the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Division.  Unlike the WWE Women’s Division, the UFC Women are respectable athletes and performers who are highly entertaining to watch.  The hope is obviously that Rousey will bring outside attention, and therefore new revenue into the WWE.

Unfortunately, Rousey crashed and burned in the UFC, having lost her two matches as the sport rapidly passed her by.  Instead of handling her losses with grace and sportsmanship, she handled it like a complete loser.  She ducked all media obligations, didn’t bother to talk about the fact she got her ass kicked, and left the octagon as a disgrace.

Given all that, and the fact that she has never worked a professional wrestling match in front of a live crowd, and that the talent around her in the WWE isn’t very good to begin with, chances are slim that Rousey is going to help the Women’s Division improve in the slightest.

I have been a constant critic of the WWE Women’s Division for years, I feel it has always been handled improperly and is painful to watch.  Even after they dropped the “Diva’s” moniker and gave the entire division a push with more screen time and high-profile matches, I have not seen any improvement.  Maybe I’m wrong and Rousey will give the division a shot in the arm and turn things around.  I’ll keep an eye on it (mostly because I’m being forced to), but I don’t have high hopes.  And that is all I will say about the Women’s division as it relates to the Elimination Chamber.

There are three men’s matches, two of which are filler.  If you just tune in just for the main event, you’ll learn all you need to know about the Road to WrestleMania.

“Woken” Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt

I don’t watch independent wrestling so I have no idea what the “Broken” Matt Hardy gimmick was all about.  Now that he’s in the WWE and I’ve seen the “Woken” Matt Hardy gimmick is all about, all I can say is that I really don’t get it!  He just babbles nonsense, has a weird phony laugh, chants “delete” and loses matches all the time.  I’m not entertained.

Bray Wyatt is the biggest enigma of his time.  He has all the potential in the world, and it never gets him anywhere.  This is a dead-end feud that isn’t doing him any favors.  Considering how poor his WrestleMania 33 performance was last year, this guy could use a break.  He’s not going to get one here.

We already saw this match on the 25^th Anniversary Raw.  It was boring then, and it’s not going to be much better tonight.

Prediction: Winner, Bray Wyatt

Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Titus Worldwide (Apollo and Titus O’Neil) (with Dana Brooke) in a Tag team match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

Sheamus and Cesaro are the best tag team in the WWE right now.  They are always fun to watch, and can be counted on to put on an entertaining match.  Apollo is the latest lucky winner of “the guy who lost his last name” award, which was once awarded to Cesaro!  Titus O’Neil has a great deal of upside as an “agent” who runs a heel stable.  It feels like the WWE is not giving him as much of a chance as he needs to really take this gimmick to the next level, and saddling him with a “statistician”, the nerdy-looking Dana Brooke isn’t helping out.

Regardless, this will be the second-best match on the card and it will be worth watching.  It will certainly set the tone for the Raw Tag Team Championship picture at WrestleMania.

Prediction: Winners and still WWE Raw Tag Team Champions, Cesaro and Sheamus

Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz in a 7-Man Elimination Chamber match for a WWE Universal Championship match at WrestleMania 34

This match will represent the WWE at it’s finest.  It should last at least one hour, tell a compelling story, contain several high-spots, leave us wanting more when it is over, and will set the stage for two, if not three matches at WrestleMania 34.  There is something on the line for each of the entrants in this match.

Finn Bálor is badly in need of a signature match or even a moment in the WWE.  After his initial push in which he became the first ever WWE Universal Champion (and having to surrender the title a day later due to injury), not much has gone right for him.  It seems that people are becoming wise to the fact that all he has going for him is a well-produced ring entrance.  Beyond that, he doesn’t say or do much that is very interesting.  In fact, he comes off as a scrawny little twerp that should probably be in the 205 Cruiserweight division where nobody has to watch him.  If he finally shows us something in the chamber, he might gain some steam headed into WrestleMania.  If not, it’s off to the pre-show card for Finn.

Elias is the biggest up-and-comer in this match and stands to gain a lot ahead of WresteMania.  He’s the classic “heel with a guitar”, combing nerve-grating singing with out-of-tune guitar playing and lots of great insults.  People want to cheer him, but he’s such a dick to the live audience, they have no choice but to boo.  His crowd reactions get better and better each week on Raw, and his in-ring work is very solid.  Keep an eye on this guy, he probably won’t win, but will come away with a good feud in the near-term.

Seth Rollins is a victim of bad luck many times over.  His first run as WWE Champion ended unceremoniously with a broken knee, and subsequently he missed WrestleMania 32 while on the mend.  He hasn’t been in the title picture since his return.  He reunited with The Shield to a huge fan response, only to have Dean Ambrose suffer an arm injury (which will cause Dean to miss WrestleMania 34) and have that faction quietly break up.  He was paired with Jason Jordan and was headed towards a match with him at WrestleMania, until Jordan suffered a neck injury a few weeks back, and he will now miss WrestleMania leaving Seth without an obvious opponent.  Seth is a highly talented young performer who has proved that he can carry the mantle for the WWE in the past.  He needs a good Chamber match that somehow gives him a good opponent at WrestleMania.

The Miz is the best heel in the WWE right now.  He is in a better place in his career now than when he headlined WrestleMania WrestleMania XXVII to mixed critical reviews.  He has also become a master promoter for the WWE to outside media outlets and can be counted on to represent the company well, which helps make him a potential main eventer at WrestleMania this year.  Keep an eye on him, he can be a dark horse pick to win the chamber match, especially given the stipulation that he has to enter the chamber first.  That will certainly add to the intrigue of this match.

John Cena would be a great pick to win this match.  He hasn’t main evented a WrestleMania since he beat The Rock at WrestleMania XXIX in New Jersey.  Since that time, he’s been saddled with mid-card matches at ‘Mania, his low point coming last year when he had to participate in a mixed-gender tag match and pretend to propose to one of the Bella Twins, just as a way to advertise her reality show.  Cena is one of the best wrestlers of all time and would be worthy of the main event spot at WrestleMania once again.

Braun Strowman is red hot right now.  He is an example of the proper way to bring up a talent from NXT and make him into a star, in stark contrast to Roman Reigns.  The two have almost parallel careers, but Strowman has outshined Reigns in every way.  Strowman was a heel that the fans forced to turn babyface because he was so good.  Everything about his matches, promos, and vignettes prove that this guy gets it.  You won’t hear fans complain that Strowman is being “forced down their throats” even though that’s exactly what is happening.  People don’t mind because he is deserving of the screen time he gets.  A Strowman/Lesnar main event would blow the roof off of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome.

Unfortunately, Roman Reigns is the favorite to win this match, and go on to ruin yet another WrestleMania main event.  I continue to be bewildered by his never-ending push.  I also can’t understand why he never improves.  No matter how many interviews he does, he never has any real emotion or feeling when reading off the memorized lines he’s given.  His ring psychology sucks, he has no idea how to properly sell for heels, or get any kind of fire for his comebacks.  I repeat these same complaints over and over again because, with Roman, nothing ever changes.

Even if Reigns does go on to win the match, given the talent level, and the specter of the chamber itself, this has Match of The Year potential.  I expect it to very enjoyable and am very much looking forward to it.

Prediction: Winner, Braun Strowman

I obviously just picked who I want to win, not who I think will win.  Too bad, I’m a wrestling fan and that’s what we do!